


The Last Carry

by maiwriting



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, I don’t know what I was thinking, i’m in a sad place i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiwriting/pseuds/maiwriting
Summary: Supergirl meets Lena again on her last day on earth, after decades of staying apart.Warning: Major character death.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 38
Kudos: 281





	The Last Carry

**Author's Note:**

> Warning again: Lena dies. Like, for real. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  
> Anyway, I saw this [tweet](https://twitter.com/kasheymcgee/status/1326691529738481665) and got inspired.

Lori turns the page to a new chapter. Before she continues with her book, she looks up to see if her mom needs anything. She has her eyes closed, and Lori smiles watching her mother finally get some rest. With a wave of her hand, Lori turns off the television that’s in front of them and gets up to close the sliding door to the balcony. Leave it to the Luthors to get a hospital room with their own private balcony.

As Lori is about to press the button to close the sliding door, a voice croaks from the bed, “Leave it open, Lori. Today’s the day.”

“You say that everyday, mom.”

“Today’s the day.”

Lori knows better than to argue with her mom, especially not when she’s on the hospital bed, hooked up on oxygen with her vitals beeping on the monitors. Lori leaves the balcony open and sits back down to read her book, hoping her mom would go back to sleep again.

There’s something about books that no technology can replace. To have something to hold, to feel, to smell, oh the smell of new books gives Lori pure joy. It was something her mom prefers as well. She would invent a lot of technology but at the end of the day, the thing she enjoys the most is resting up on the couch with blankets and a good book. 

It’s been months since Lori last saw her mother with a book, as even the task of lifting up a book is daunting to her. But that doesn’t stop Lori from reading to her, sometimes early in the morning, sometimes before bed, just like how her mother reads to her when she was a kid. It’s not easy seeing your own mother at the last leg of her life, but Lori wants her mother to go as comfortably and as peaceful as she can. Every time the doctor comes in they would say _any time now_ so Lori spends most of her time here. Preparing. 

But as she was reading, she found herself crying again. No matter how prepared she is, she couldn’t be. Not really. How do you prepare for a loved one’s death? She wipes away the stray tear, scolding herself quietly for grieving before the looming grief should actually happen. She tries to distract herself by checking in with the company, to see if they’re still holding up without their CEO there.

When Lori is about to press the call button on her watch, her ears perk up to the whoosh sound coming from afar. She has her eyes on the balcony and in an instant, there she is. The person she has only heard stories and seen pictures of is now standing right in front of her. With her red cape flowing around her back, the blonde’s presence was large, as large as her history. Supergirl is back.

Lori stands up but doesn't dare to say a word, so she just watches Supergirl as she walks up to her mother’s bed. For such a strong superhero, Lori notices that Supergirl has a tender touch. She just stares as Supergirl softly brushes her mother’s cheek and smiles.

“Hi, Lena.”

“You look just like the first time I met you,” Lena replies slowly but surely.

Lori couldn’t see her mother’s face, who is facing Supergirl as she tries to muster up all her energy for a conversation, but she knows her mother is smiling widely. Lena has been waiting for this day all her life.

“You look… wiser.”

“You can say old, Kara.”

“Kara.” Kara smiles at the word, “It’s been awhile since someone called me by that name.”

“You’ll always be Kara to me.”

“Mom,” Lori says it softly, not wanting to interrupt the moment, “I’ll be outside, okay?”

“Come here, Lori,” Lena calls for her daughter.

Lori, sensing the moment for what it truly is, tries to hold back her tears as hard as she could. She comes over to Lena and presses a hard kiss on her forehead, but hugging her mother lightly so she doesn’t injure her fragile body.

“I love you so much, mom.”

“I love you too.”

Without acknowledging Supergirl, Lori leaves the room with a heavy heart. 

Kara grabs a chair and pulls it closer to Lena’s bed, holding her hand tight.

“You’re a mother,” she smiles.

“I am,“ Lena smiles back. Even at this old age, Kara finds that Lena still has the same smile.

“Lori?" Kara reconfirms the name she heard earlier and Lena nods. "She looks just like you.”

“She should be. She’s the best part of my genetics,” Lena boasts. Even lying in bed, Lena manages to stand tall metaphorically and be proud of her achievement. 

Kara shakes her head and chuckles, “Gene editing. Of course you would have figured it out. Does that mean?”

“Yes,” Lena smiles again, wider this time.

“Lena,” Kara looks at her worriedly, with the same crinkle in between her eyebrows just like Lena remembers, “is she…”

“She’s not. She takes after me. She’s L-Corp CEO now.”

Kara breathes a sigh of relief, “Good. Good. How are you?”

“Dying,” Lena replies and Kara laughs lightly at how Lena is blunt as always.

When silence falls between them, Kara smiles again, “I don’t know what to say now.”

“There’s no need to. I’m happy to see you,” Lena grips Kara’s hand tighter, as tight as she could in her weak state.

“I’m happy to see you too. Truly.”

“Bring me to fly with you, Kara,” Lena pleads as she looks at Kara with teary eyes. 

“Don’t you want Lori to be here with you?” Kara asks warily. She also eyes the various tubes and wires attached to Lena. Taking it off meaning she is speeding up the inevitable.

“We already said our goodbyes. She knows about today.”

Kara sits still and stares at Lena, wondering if she should really fulfil Lena’s wish.

“Kara, I want to feel the wind in my face again. Please,” Lena pleads again when she sees Kara unmoving. She didn’t say it but she also wants to remember what it feels like to be in Kara’s arms once more, for the last time.

Kara hesitates, but takes one look at Lena’s face and relents. They both know why she’s here. Plus, how could Kara refuse Lena? Not after all these years. Slowly, she takes off all the tubes and wires from her, removing the oxygen tube lastly. She picks up Lena easily, wraps a blanket around her and carries her to the balcony.

“Like old times,” Kara grins. It’s a bit different than their usual carry, there’s no familiar hands hugging around Kara’s neck, too weak to do so now. Kara looks down at Lena, frail and delicate in her arms, but still her Lena. 

“Remember... the first... time?” Lena asks, more slowly this time without an oxygen tank attached to her.

“L-Corp,” Kara reminds her.

“Since then... I knew... every time I'd fall... you'd be there... to catch me.”

Kara smiles and hugs Lena closer, “Shh, don’t talk.”

She flies up as slow as she possibly could, making sure Lena is comfortable the whole way. Kara flies to the top of the hospital building, not too high, but high enough so Lena can feel like she’s on top of the world, like what she deserves. 

Lena looks up to the clear blue sky and back at Kara's face. It's getting harder to breathe but she musters up to say something that's been on her chest for decades, “This is... how it should be.”

“Hm?” 

“Me... saying goodbye to you. Not... the other way around.”

Kara’s mind went back to their last goodbye, full of tears and hurt. She shakes it off and jokes, “You got your revenge at least.”

“Goodbye, Kara," Lena closes her eyes and smiles. 

With one hand still carrying Lena, Kara takes her other hand and tucks away the strands of grey hair away from Lena’s face, “I'll miss you so much.”

“Kara…” Lena’s voice trails off as she still has her eyes closed.

“I’m here.”

“Are you... happy?”

“Seeing you?” Kara smiles, “Of course.”

“But are you... happy?”

Kara’s heart stops a little at the question. Leave it to Lena to really know how she feels. 

“I don't regret my decision.”

“I want you... to be happy,” Lena smiles weakly as she says it and Kara tries to control the well of tears threatening to escape her eyes.

“That's my dying wish… promise me.”

“I promise,” Kara kisses Lena’s forehead, not knowing if she could keep it but she says it again, “I promise.”

“Do you remember… your last words to me…”

“Lena, don’t talk. It’s hard for you to breathe,” Kara advises her. She knows what’s about to come but it is still hard for her to see Lena going through it.

“I need... to hear it again…”

There’s no one around but Kara inches her face closer to whisper in Lena’s ear, the same words she uttered right before she left this earth, “I love you too.”

Lena smiles. It's been 54 years since she last heard it, but it still hits her the same. The kind of longing pang that heals and yet breaks her heart at the same time. 

“And I you,” Lena replies back, content if that’s the last thing she’ll ever hear on her last day.

“But I’m sorry, I was Supergirl. I am Supergirl. It’s just—”

“I know…”

“I’m so sorry, Lena.”

“I know…” 

“Do you want to go back? Your breathing is getting labored.”

“I’m dying, Kara.”

“Lena.”

“I want…. to stay here…. till the end.”

“Lena.”

“Do this... for me.”

Kara has faced many deaths in her life. Villains. Enemies. Heroes. Friends. Families. Loved ones. Her friends and family on Krypton when she flies away in a pod. Aunt Astra, hanging onto her last breath when Kara reaches her. Leslie, sacrificing her own life to save hers. Alex, in battle alongside her. 

But never like this. Never due to old age and slowly in her arms. Kara has known about this day for years, bracing herself for what’s to come. Still, it hurts her. It hurts to see the love of her life slowly taking in long pauses in between breath, not knowing which one would be the last one. Lena’s small body is different than what Kara remembers, when her presence alone commands attention in every room she steps into. She runs her fingers through Lena’s hair again, what used to be tucked back in a tight ponytail now hangs loose at the side of her head. Kara’s thumb gently traces the wrinkles on Lena’s face. Even if she doesn’t regret her decision, she is saddened she missed all the moments she could have had with Lena. 

As life is slowly drained away from her beloved, so do the tears that fell from Kara’s eyes, mourning the loss of her real love. A love she has sacrificed everything for. There’s no more holding back as Kara lets the tears drop freely.

“The rain... is warm,” Lena replies in barely a whisper but Kara hears it.

Kara hugs Lena tight as she mumbles over and over again, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

When her super hearing can’t pick up a heartbeat, Kara holds Lena close to her, with nothing else to do but to cry freely. It was a searing pain that Kara felt throughout her whole body, more than any amount of Kryptonite had ever hurt her. The pain comes in waves, each one bigger than the next. Kara wishes more than anything to be human right now, to join Lena to wherever she is.

After a long moment, Kara picks herself up and flies back to Lena’s room, with Lori already there waiting in her chair. Kara places Lena’s body on the bed, and gently drapes the blanket over her, even if she can’t feel it anymore.

“I’m sorry. Your mother…”

“I know. We were ready for this day.”

“I shouldn’t have stolen your last moment with her,” Kara avoids Lori’s eyes as she replies. It was selfish of Kara, she knows it, but she needed this one last selfish moment with Lena.

“I had a lifetime of moments with mom. Plus, she was waiting for you. She said the day you would show up will be her last day on earth.”

Lori’s reply lightens Kara. She looks at Lena and back at Lori. Lori looks exactly like how Lena looked like, it’s uncanny.

“Was it… did she go peacefully?” Lori asks.

“Yes. We were… we were at the rooftop. She smiled till the very end.”

“She’s so cold,” Lori comments as she touches Lena’s cheeks, “I didn’t realize she would be cold like this.”

Kara looks down, not sure on what to say or even add on in this situation, “She… she had a good life.”

“That she did.”

“She’s… urm… she’s lucky to have you.” 

“She loved you,” Lori grits her teeth as she says it.

Kara pauses to look up and takes another look at Lori. She recognized the anger. It looks just like Lena's.

“I know.”

“So, why did you fucking leave?”

Kara gets taken aback at the language, but tries to reply in a calm manner, “Kid, you don’t know what—”

“I’m not your fucking kid,” Lori cuts Kara off, “I hated you all my life. You fucking ruined her.”

Kara stays silent as she tries to hold back her tongue from saying something she regrets but Lori keeps yelling.

“She loved you!” Lori points to Lena and then back at Kara, “Till the end, she fucking loved you! And you couldn’t even love her back.”

“I did!” Kara shouts back. Lena’s daughter can accuse her of many things, but not this. “I do love her. I _still_ love her. That’s why I’m here. But we couldn’t be together.”

“Why the fuck not? You dash off to another earth and leave this one to what? Fucking Superman and his Superfriends and you fuck off leaving her all alone in this world?!”

“This is between me and your mum, kid.”

“I’m not your fucking kid!”

“You…” Kara stops. It’s not her place to tell the truth.

"What? You want to tell me I’m half you? Like my mom didn’t tell me that already?”

Kara blinks slowly at the fact that Lori knows she’s a genetically engineered baby with a combination of both her and Lena’s DNA. Kara looks at Lori with wonder in her eyes, “You know?”

“Of course I fucking know. Mom is not a fucking paranoid like you with keeping secrets. But get this straight, I might be half you genetically, but I’m not your fucking kid. You didn’t raise me. She did,” Lori replies with tears running down her eyes. Kara recognizes the anger, but she also recognizes the grief. Kara doesn’t know how many deaths Lori has faced in her life but by how she’s acting right now Kara assumes not a lot. She tries to leave the situation before it escalates.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. For hurting you. I have to go now,” Kara turns around and gets ready to fly off.

“Yeah, like you always do.”

“Now is not the time….” Kara replies as she tries to fight back from calling Lori a kid again, “She understood why I left.”

“Because you’re a coward who won’t even fight for her!” Lori yells back and this time it’s Kara who grits her teeth.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“She needed you!” 

“And I needed her!” Kara snaps.

“You think I don't want to be with her? Have a happily ever after with her? Here's the truth kid, this is not a fairytale! This is real life! And the fact that she's here, that… that she lived a long life, that... she has a kid who _clearly_ loves her, is the _exact_ reason why I left!! I couldn't give her that! Not as Kara! And certainly not as Supergirl! Because of my love for her, I would put her in danger for every. single. day. of her life. And she doesn't deserve that! She doesn’t deserve a life of jeopardy and risk and enemies just because I want to be with her! All you need to know is that I left _for_ her. And I came back _for_ her.” 

Kara takes a deep breath and stares Lori down.

“She died _literally_ in my arms tonight. So, no, you don't get to berate me right now for my decision I made all those years ago that your mum understood, because you may have lost your mother today but I lost my reason for living!”

Watching Supergirl yelling at her, with tears riddled down her face, Lori finally understood that even the Girl of Steel can feel the pain of a heartbreak. Lori stands strong opposite the superhero she’s been hearing all her life, but takes a step back when Kara starts laughing yet still crying at the same time, looking like she's having a mental breakdown.

“What am I doing? I'm here, back on this stupid earth after what? 5 decades? And yelling at the daughter of the love of my life and for what?”

The laughing stops as Kara drops to her knees and just continues sobbing, “And she wants me to be happy. Until her last dying breath, she wants nothing but happiness for me. So tell me, kid, how do I do that? How can I be happy now that she's gone?”

Lori comes and stands awkwardly next to Kara. She didn’t feel like consoling this stranger who shares half her genetics, or rather she didn’t know what to do. Lori quietly kneels down on the floor next to Kara, both taking in the fact that they’re hurting from losing their loved ones. 

“Mom… she always said, ‘'When you remember me, then that means I’m alive again.’ So… maybe that's how you stay happy, by holding onto the memories, you know? Keep living for her. Remember her.”

Kara wipes away her tears with her sleeve, eyes staring down at Lori’s knees. 

“She… she would always talk about you. Keep telling me about the one day you’ll be back. At times, it felt like she was living just in hope to see you again one last time. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I hate you.”

“It’s okay, I hate me too,” Kara replies.

“Why didn't you stay?”

“Your mom—”

“Yeah, yeah, you said mom understood, but make me understand as well. All those years ago, why didn't you fight and stay? For mom?”

“I couldn't. If I did, Lena would be in danger for the rest of her life. I had to leave her.”

Lori scoffs at Kara’s answer, “You keep saying that. You don't know what will happen.”

“That's the thing, kid,” Kara looks up at Lori, “I do know. I saw the future.”

“The future?”

“I visited all the different futures. She dies early in every single one except for this one, the future where I leave, where I don’t put her in danger,” Kara stands up and glances at Lena’s lifeless body, “I did what I had to do. I would rather live alone on a different earth if that means she would stay alive.”

Lori follows Kara and stands up as well.

“You really visited all the different futures?”

“Every single one of them,” Kara looks back at Lori sadly, “Why else would I come back to this exact day?”

\--

_“Goodbye, Lena.”_

_Lena grabs Kara’s arms and doesn’t let go, “Not goodbye. I don’t want to say goodbye, not like this.”_

_“We have to. This is the future where you’ll have the longest life.”_

_“I don’t want a future if I’m not with you!”_

_“And I would never forgive myself if I stay and let something happen to you. I have to do this.”_

_“What about future number 12,962? You said we have 6 years together in that future!”_

_Kara shakes her head and smiles, “Not good enough, Lena. I want you to live a long and healthy life.”_

_With tears running down her face Lena begs once more, “Kara, please. This is stupid. Fight and stay. We can overcome anything together.”_

_“Not this. Not destiny. This is the best possible future for you. I’ve lost Alex, I can’t lose you too. I’ve seen your last day, you’re old and wrinkly and happy,” Kara replies as she wipes Lena’s tears away, “You look so happy, Lena.”_

_Lena takes a long breath and calms down. They’ve talked a lot about this but somehow Lena tries to persuade Kara one more time, “Come back, then. On my last day.”_

_“Lena.”_

_“You can’t mess with the future anymore on my last day. Will you come back?”_

_Kara doesn’t answer but just stares at Lena whose grip is still holding her arms tight._

_“Promise me. You’ll come back on my last day.”_

_“On your last day. I promise.”_

_Lena grabs Kara’s face and kisses her. Kara kisses her back, eyes dripping with tears, knowing it’s going to be their last one._

_“I'll wait. I love you.”_

_Kara hugs Lena tight and whispers to her ear, “I love you too.”_

_With those parting words, Kara presses on a device and steps into a void that forms in between the cracks of the atmosphere. She clutches the crest on her chest, hoping it would cease the pain in her heart as she waves goodbye. A parting that’s full of sadness with a hint of promise that one day they’ll find each other again._


End file.
